Admittedly, I'm not big on art.
I couldn't tell you how a particular brush stroke somehow depicts a particular emotion or how wielding the oil pastel in the opposite hand allegedly provides the piece with an extra dimension.
The paragraph above summarises my knowledge of art; nothing. All I know is that paintings like the ones below scare the absolute shite out of me.
7. Medusa (Caravaggio)
If the catastrophic crease in her brow doesn't send a shiver down your spine, the snakes on her head definitely will. This frighteningly ugly bitch has such a hard time finding a fella, she has to turn them to stone.
6. The Scream (Edvard Munch)
It's one of the most famous paintings ever, but to me, it just looks like Lord Voldemort has dropped his keys off a bridge.
5. The Water Ghost (Alfred Kubin)
Darth Vader having a paddle?
Kubin was a keen user of watercolours and this piece depicts torment and impending doom at sea. A stranded ship has been caught mid-storm and it's passengers squirm as they await death.
4. The Crying Spider (Odilon Redon)
It has been suggested that Redon fell into a deep depression after moving to Paris following the Franco-Prussian war. This painting, along with many others, symbolise his entrapment and feelings of little worth during the 1880's.
3. The Fountain (Mark Ryden)
Young children have a indescribable ability to terrify even the most grizzly of adults. The Fountain displays a young girl holding her severed head, leaving her neck to spurt blood like a malfunctioning sprinkler. Lovely.
2. Saturn Devouring His Son (Francisco Goya)
It's a well known fact that Goya became a bit mental as he approached his twilight years. He'd spend his days alone, maniacally cackling to himself as he littered the walls with the gleaming eyes of goblins, witches and demented Gods eating their son's (as above).
1. The Hands Resist Him (Bill Stoneham)
If I had kids that looked this evil, I'd disown them.
'The Hands Resist Him' was listed on Ebay in 2000 by an anonymous seller and is now considered to be one of the most haunted paintings in the world. In 1972, the painting was purchased by Hollywood actor John Marley, but after years of torment, it was put up for sale.
According to Marley, the characters in the painting would move and even disappear at night. Blasts of hot air and unseen forces were felt on a regular basis and on one occasion, a printer broke whilst attempting to print the image.
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