Friday, 8 February 2013

The World's Largest Penis to Body Ratios

Although the penis resembles a wrinkling, sagging, fruitless attempt at an elephant's head; it still remains the most powerful and respected organ on Earth.

With the ability to fire string better than Spiderman, to grow faster than a steroid abuser and even to create a life; the penis is a man's most prized possession.

However, unfortunately for us human men, our penis to body ratio is less impressive. While we are able to cup our holy organ in one hand, some animals would need a fork lift to be able to hold theirs.

Below I present to you the animals with the largest penis to body ratios on Earth.

7. Blue Whale

Ratio: 1:10

At 30m long, you'd expect the largest animal on Earth to have a painfully large wang. At 8ft long (16 times bigger than the average human penis), the Blue Whale has enough to dick to feed at least sixteen gagging whores. Although beastiality is not something I'm aiming to promote, the description helps to describe how useful the Blue Whale's penis really is!

6. Colymbosathon Ecplecticos















Ratio: 1:5

The oldest male fossil animal discovered really does have a cock to be proud of. Even it's name pays tribute to its willy ('amazing swimmer with a large penis') and 425 million years ago, the bachelor of the sea would have been using its weapon to destroy some crustaceany cracks.

5. African Elephant

Ratio: 1:4

If you have been watching David Attenboroughs' 'Africa' series recently, you'll know how big this guy's todger is. Whilst watching a few nights ago, I had to clarify with a Zoology student whether Elephant's only had four legs, because I swear I saw five. At 18 inches, it's hard not to feel sorry for the lungs of some of the African Elephant's female counterparts.

4. Greater Hooked Squid

Ratio: 1:1

Having a penis as big as yourself would definitely create some problems, but I'd take it any day. The Greater Hooked Squid has this 'problem', but also has the freedom to float around the ocean winking cheekily at passing wildlife as its giant dick playfully waves from side to side.

3. Banana Slug

Ratio: 1:1

Somewhat depressingly, this creature (12 times smaller than the average human) still has the same size penis as us. The yellow fellow has the excruciating task of lugging around a wang as big as itself all day. It's always the ugly ones that get the biggest.

2. Argentine Blue-Bill Duck

Ratio: 2:1

There's having a penis as big as yourself, and then there's having one that is twice as big as you. The Argentinian Blue-Billed Duck has definitely been eating too much steak! It's not all plain sailing for the cute little dude, however. It's daily routine includes fish biting on its majestic member believing it to be bait! (Untrue, but definitely a possibility).

1. The Barnacle

Ratio: 40:1

So, why the fuck did God decide to give the most useless thing on Earth the biggest dick ever? No one will ever know, and for me, it's enough for many to question God's existence because he can't be that stupid, can he? If humans had the same ratio, we'd be dragging a 240ft trouser snake around with us all day... Alright for some, isn't it?

20 comments:

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  13. Hello viewers around the Globe, I was despondent because i had a very small penis, about 2.5 inches soft and 4 inches hard not nice enough to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the INTERNET about this specialist called Dr,OLU and decided to contact him on his email: Drolusolutinthome@gmail.com) so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis Enlargement, Within 3 week of it, i began to feel the enlargemen was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my sex and i have got a large penis. Am so happy, thanks to Dr OLU I also learn that Dr OLUalso help with Breast Enlargement Hips and Bums Enlargement etc.. If you are in any situation with a little Penis, weak ejaculation, small breast_hips_bums do get to Dr OLU now for help on his email (Drolusolutionhome@gmail.com) or add him on whatsapp line +2348140654426

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hello everyone. I was heartbroken because i had a small penis, not nice to satisfy a woman, i had so many relationship called off because of my situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments about this specialist called Dr OLU and decided to email him on drolusoutionhome@gmail.com
    so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis t, Enlargement Within 1 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, ” and now it just 2 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer and am so happy..feel free to contact DR OLU on(Drolusolutionhome@gmail.com or whatsapp him on this number +2348140654426 )

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello everyone. I was heartbroken because i had a small penis, not nice to satisfy a woman, i had so many relationship called off because of my situation, i have used so many product which i found online but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments about this specialist called Dr OLU and decided to email him on drolusoutionhome@gmail.com
    so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis t, Enlargement Within 1 week of it, i began to feel the enlargement of my penis, ” and now it just 2 weeks of using his products my penis is about 9 inches longer and am so happy..feel free to contact DR OLU on(Drolusolutionhome@gmail.com or whatsapp him on this number +2348140654426 )

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hello viewers around the Globe, I was despondent because i had a very small penis, about 2.5 inches soft and 4 inches hard not nice enough to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but none could offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the INTERNET about this specialist called Dr,OLU and decided to contact him on his email: Drolusolutinthome@gmail.com) so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal pills for Penis Enlargement, Within 3 week of it, i began to feel the enlargemen was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my sex and i have got a large penis. Am so happy, thanks to Dr OLU I also learn that Dr OLUalso help with Breast Enlargement Hips and Bums Enlargement etc.. If you are in any situation with a little Penis, weak ejaculation, small breast_hips_bums do get to Dr OLU now for help on his email (Drolusolutionhome@gmail.com) or add him on whatsapp line +2348140654426

    ReplyDelete
  17. So amazing i am little bit ashamed to share this marvelous testimony about a great man called Dr Oseiboh who helped me to enlarge my small penis size and my weak erection through his natural herbal medicine and cream,i was passing through many heart broke because i have a very small penis about 3 inches i was so are shame of my self i could not satisfy my wife in bed,my marriage was really breaking, my wife was about to divorce me and i needed help urgently,i have used all type of drugs but none work for me,so one faithful day as i was browsing through the internet i saw few comments on a forum about how Joe from France testified how Dr Oseiboh helped him to enlarge his penis and also cured his weak erection,i contacted him through this email droseiboh12@gmail.com he replied me and gave me steps to follow and i did just as he said ,and he sent me the natural herbal medicine and cream to me through the courier service and i receive it, and i used the natural herbal medicine and the cream for just one week to my greatest surprise my penis that was just 3 inches got enlarge to 10 inches long and fully strong,wow my wife love me more then before i am so happy, i can now satisfy her very well in bed,i even last long now thank you so much Dr Oseiboh for making me a real man again,so if you are out there having similar problems please contact him now on his email droseiboh12@gmail.com or whatsapp him or call him through his phone number +2348054265852.
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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  19. Hello everyone, am very happy to share this little awesome testimony about Dr OLIHA a great herbal doctor who help me enlarge my penis size.3.2 cm to 8.3 cm longer with his herbal cream mixture, my girlfriend is now so amazed with the autonomous size of my penis , if you you are also in need of help on how to enlarge your penis to become bigger and stronger I adverse you to contact Dr OLIHA on his email contact him {oliha.miraclemedicine@gmail.com} https://web.facebook.com/DR-OLIHA-MiracleMedicine-1995643247389522/
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    ReplyDelete
  20. Hello everyone, i want to give thanks to the Lord for sending Doctor Idemujan to solve my problems in life, i want to tell the whole world about how I grew my penis by 4 extra inches using Doctor Idemujan herbal cream, the main reason for buying this was to add up to my penis size, because it was a big problem to my life, my confidence with my woman was low, she threaten to live my house and go look for a man that will make her happy in bed, i feel so bad and i was really worried, and i have been trying since 20 years of age to enlarge my penis but none rendered me the help i want i have used vaccine, penis pump,surgery,online creams from United States Of America,CANADA,INDIA,UK, and more but none of them enlarge my penis i was really frustrated and tired of living because my penis was too small, imagine a 40 years old like me having 2.5 inches and to make it worse i was having erectile dysfunction, low of sperm, i can not met my woman and she will get pregnant, to GOD be the glory as i was searching through the online for help on Google page i saw one Mr Richard James from Chicago Illinois USA testifying of how Doctor Idemujan HERBAL CREAM and LIQUID enlarge his penis from 3 inches to 5 inches within one week of using his herbal cream, because of my problems, i have to go for fasting and prayers from different church, begging God to send a helper to me that will help me solve my life problems, then i believe my problems can also be solved too, so i quickly contacted him through his email: idemujanherbalcurecenter@gmail.com to God be the glory i was surprise after one week of using his cream my penis enlarge to 4 extra inches and is now 6 inches long and very thicker i am so happy to feel like a real man in the bedroom at last so if you need penis enlargement,erectile dysfunction cure, weak erection, breast enlargement, and many sexual relation cure or any kind of disease you have and you need cure do not hesitate to email: idemujanherbalcurecenter@gmail.com or you can call his phone number + 2349024338906 God bless you all Amen.

    ReplyDelete