Friday, 21 June 2013

Top 5 Worst Brand Names Ever

As every successful business person will tell you, the brand name is of paramount importance.

So why do some companies find it necessary to relate their product's names to faeces, sex and even genitals? Someone behind the scenes is having a right laugh, and I don't blame them.


5. Mr.Brains
Findus should have taken a leaf out of Mr.Brains' book, at least they list what actually goes into the product! The meat company, owned by Hannibal Lecter himself, specialises in the world's finest repulsive meats. Just look at the picture, scrumptious...

4. Golden Gaytime
Everyone loves a golden gay time, so much so that Walls developed an ice cream to commemorate our favourite past times! The delicious treat can be enjoyed as, well, a delicious treat or even an icy anal fisting device!

3. Jussipussi
'What would you like for breakfast, son?' , 'Oh, well I'd love some Jussipussi!'. 

What a lovely thing to hear in the morning. Go to Finland, and this could be a real life scenario. There's nothing better than morning sex and the Finnish certainly know that.

2. Shitto

Is your food bland? Look no further than Shitto, the Ghanaian gourmet pepper sauce that has taken Africa by storm. The Africans definitely know how to flavour their sauces, but I wouldn't take their word for it, I've heard it tastes like shit...

1. Babybel

Yes, Babybel. The innocent lunchbox essential that kids just love to munch on. As we all know, there's nothing better than a Babybel to get you through your day, but just for one second imagine that they decided to call it Elderlybel. Things would change dramatically.

Saturday, 8 June 2013

5 Facts About Colour

Colour is ubiquitous.

It's an unavoidable visual delight that puts on a pantomime for our eyes every single day, unless you're colourblind...

But colour is more than just, well, colour. It conveys specific moods and emotions and can even help to reduce crime rates!

Below are five facts you may have not known about colour...

1. First impressions are based on colours

Believe it or not, our first impressions of other people are largely based on colour. In fact, 62-90% of our first impressions are based on it so maybe it's time to pull out that pink and gold tuxedo; you just might pull. 

2. Pink has a calming effect

Unfortunately, the colour pink's calming effects still have no effect on me and seeing a girls pink underwear still won't cure my premature ejaculation problems. However, it is commonly used to coat the walls of prisons and mental health facilities, so it works for some!

3. Men and women see red differently

Whilst men only possess one X chromosome, women actually have two. The gene that allows us to see red sits on the X chromosome and so women have the pleasure of enjoying the different shades of red that don't exist in a man's eye, such as maroon and crimson. Hopefully this fact will encourage women to stop asking their men what shade of f***ing lipstick they should buy.

4. Blue is the most common favourite colour

Forty percent of people worldwide would choose blue as their favourite colour according some study somewhere on earth. Blue conveys trust and reliability and is the colour that makes Manchester City more bearable to watch; the colour that watches over us everyday (apart from the UK) and the colour that was used to light Glasgow's streets in 2002. Miraculously, crime rates lowered!

5. Yellow makes you hungry

The colour yellow is regarded as an appetite stimulator and therefore is not recommended as  the colour to decorate your kitchen with. This could be the reason why all Pikachu/Pokemon fanatics sit juggling their own fat all day.