Tuesday, 28 May 2013

5 Common Bodily Phenomena Explained

1. The Itch

The skin is the only organ that is constantly exposed to possibly irritation. The most common stimuli is dryness associated with the atmosphere or over-washing which removes a quantity of the skins natural oils and moisture.

When you scratch an itch, the 'itch signal' being sent to your brain is interrupted and therefore no longer recognised. Even if the irritant is not fully removed, scratching somewhat diverts attention away from the itch.

2. Goosebumps

Goosebumps are associated with a drop in temperature, fear and other strong emotions. The reflex that causes the phenomena is known as horripilation which involves individual muscles at the base of each hair contracting which in turn makes the hairs on the skin stand up.

Research also suggests that goosebumps are hard to control and may prove a strong indication of true feelings. In other words, scientists can use the phenomena as an indicator of when someone is telling the truth or not. 

3. Wrinkled Fingertips

The wrinkling of fingertips is common after a person has been exposed to water for a long period of time. However, fingers don't stay wrinkled for long and soon turn back to normal.

The skin has three layers: i) the subcutaneous tissue - fats, nerves and large blood vessels; ii) the dermis - small blood vessels, nerves, hair roots and sweat glands and; iii) the epidermis - keeps water inside the body from evaporating. 

Biologists have found that when skin is submerged in water for a long period of time, the epidermis begins absorbing it. The epidermis is tightly connected to the dermis underneath it and the skin therefore distorts resulting in wrinkles. 

4. Hiccups

Hiccups are often linked to drinking/eating to quickly and consuming alcohol. They are triggered by uncontrolled impulses of the phrenic nerve which cause the diaphragm to spasm. The spasms result in a sharp intake of breath; the hiccup.

Possible cures include holding your breath, eating peanut butter, getting someone to unexpectedly scare you and drinking upside down.

5. Seeing 'Stars'

This can occur after lifting your head up too quickly or being hit in the head etc. The 'stars' are part of a group known as nonphotic visual stimuli and are called photopsia or phosphenes.

The eyeball fluid, which is contained in a sac-like mechanism, begins to pull away from the back of the eye. This process is known as 'posterior vitreous detachment' and makes vision temporarily blurred and distorted. 

Thursday, 23 May 2013

The 5 Worst Things About Bangor, North Wales

There are many ways to describe Bangor.

An uncooked pork medallion on a plate made of 24 carat gold, perhaps? Or even a steaming pile of shit left by an ancient giant who chose to utilise the mountains as his preferred toilet seat.

What I mean to say is that the snow tipped emerald mountains and the elegant flow of swimming sapphire that is the Menai Straits provide an excellent foundation for a vibrant city to thrive.

Unfortunately, Bangor doesn't and as we know, it's what on the inside that counts.

Below I have listed the five fearsome culprits that have sealed Bangor's demise. 

1. The Wind

If you want to visit a place where it is windy absolutely every f***ing day, come to Bangor!

Want to perform a normal, everyday task like walking to the shop? The wind will have something to say about that. It'll incessantly throw debris in your face like an annoying pre-schooler and leave you blind as you strain to continue your five minute journey to Aldi. Sometimes it's nice to welcome a pleasant little breeze on a warm day, but in Bangor, heat is something you don't experience often.

2. The Accent

Bangor is a university city, and so a variety of accents are audible as you stroll through its lengthy high street. However, companies tend to favour the locals when it comes to employment and so you can't go a day without hearing that God awful accent.

The locals are either in a constant state of surprise or are bellowing out a tuneless song all day; that's how bad the accent is. 

3. The Opposite Sex

Ladies, don't be offended because I know how bad some of guys are too. Bangor's the only place in the UK you'll find a guy dressed as a pirate or where the majority of people have less than ten teeth. Unfortunately, they think this is normal.

Fancy a night out on the pull? Then lower your standards, dramatically. A 4/10 in Manchester, Liverpool or Newcastle instantly becomes an 8/10 in Bangor and after two years of being here, only about three 8/10's exist.

4. Nightclubs

The expertly named Peep, Embassy and Academi make up Bangor's nightclubbing nightlife. That's three clubs to satisfy 16,000 students, so you'd expect the music to be impeccable!

Impeccable if you're ten years old and dance around your room to Now 65. Ne-yo, Akon, Pitbull, you name it, they'll be singing their hearts out over a shoddy speaker system in every one of Bangor's clubs. At least you don't have to pay £5 to get in on some nights...

5. The Uphill Trudge

If you were to take an average calf measurement of every city in the UK, Bangor's score would be at the top of the list. Everything is uphill!

When going to lectures becomes an intense cardio session, you know your university life is going to be tough. 

Friday, 10 May 2013

9 of the Best Chat Up Lines

When rohypnol isn't available, I like to use chat up lines to reel the ladies in. 

Here are some of my favourites:

9. 'Keep it quiet, but I'm completely naked under these clothes'. 

What better way to remind a woman that you have genitalia?!

8. 'Are your parents retarded? Cus you sure are special!'

Use this one with caution and never ask a girl who has parents who actually are retarded or worse so, dead. 

7. 'Are you Swedish? 'Cus you're the Sweedest girl in the room'.

There's a possibility she'll shut you down with one word; 'no'. But truthfully, if you do use this chat up line you deserve to be shut down, mainly because it's fucking shite. 

6. 'Hi, do you speak English? [yes]. Me too. 

An essential when abroad. 

5. 'The voices in my head told me to come over and speak to you'. 

Maybe she has a thing for paranoid schizophrenics. 

4. 'Are you Jamaican? 'Cus you're Jamaican me crazy!'

A classic.

3. 'Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love'. 

'Come on down'. 

2. 'Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?'

Don't give her a chance to say no.

1. 'Is your name Flora? 'Cus I'd love to spread you'.

Works every time.