Friday, 10 May 2013

9 of the Best Chat Up Lines

When rohypnol isn't available, I like to use chat up lines to reel the ladies in. 

Here are some of my favourites:

9. 'Keep it quiet, but I'm completely naked under these clothes'. 

What better way to remind a woman that you have genitalia?!

8. 'Are your parents retarded? Cus you sure are special!'

Use this one with caution and never ask a girl who has parents who actually are retarded or worse so, dead. 

7. 'Are you Swedish? 'Cus you're the Sweedest girl in the room'.

There's a possibility she'll shut you down with one word; 'no'. But truthfully, if you do use this chat up line you deserve to be shut down, mainly because it's fucking shite. 

6. 'Hi, do you speak English? [yes]. Me too. 

An essential when abroad. 

5. 'The voices in my head told me to come over and speak to you'. 

Maybe she has a thing for paranoid schizophrenics. 

4. 'Are you Jamaican? 'Cus you're Jamaican me crazy!'

A classic.

3. 'Baby, you're the next contestant in the game of love'. 

'Come on down'. 

2. 'Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?'

Don't give her a chance to say no.

1. 'Is your name Flora? 'Cus I'd love to spread you'.

Works every time.

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