If, like me, you're a dedicated viewer of 'Nothing To Declare', you'll be aware of some of the aberrant shite that some of the more peculiar people on this planet try to smuggle over the border.
Drugs, food and even live insects are all common creepers in the smuggler's suitcase, but spare a thought for the baggage handler who comes across a friendly old dead body making its way through the X-Ray machine.
Below are seven of the strangest things, items and animals people have remarkably tried to smuggle.
7. A Crocodile
One quirky fellow took it upon himself to complete the unenviable task of smuggling a crocodile with him on his flight to the Democratic Republic of Congo. Amazingly, the giant reptile made it on to the plane and in the comfort of his new surroundings, decided to pop his sunglasses on and crawl out of the passengers back towards the end of the flight.
As expected, the reaction was hysterical and the sane members on board made a frantic dash to the front of the plane. The sudden redistribution in weight caught the pilot off guard and the plane subsequently crashed. The ridiculously unbelievable disaster tragically killed twenty of the twenty-one passengers on board and the crocodile's holiday was cut short with a machete soon after.
6. A Cocaine Cast
In March 2009, a 66 year old Chilean warrior purposefully broke his leg so he could use the cast to smuggle cocaine from Chile to Barcelona. In fact, the entire cast was compiled of the Class A drug and it would have circulated the streets of the Spanish city had security officers failed to locate the other 9lbs of coke stashed in six empty beer cans.
5. Bear Paws
In the summer of this year, Chinese police arrest two Russian men trying to smuggle 213 brown bear paws into Inner Mongolia where they are a delicacy. The paws were discovered hidden in the tyres of the men's vehicle when they were pulled over by customs officers at a border checkpoint.
According to officer Wu Qingyan, the biggest paw weighed around 2kg and the men were pulled over because 'they looked very anxious and nervous'. In China, a kilo of bear paws sells for around £620.
4. An Entire Zoo
Meet Robert Cusack, the man who in 2002 was arrested and sentenced to 57 days in jail for attempting to smuggle over fifty live animals and plants into a wildlife refuge in Costa Rica. After landing on a flight from Thailand to Los Angeles in 2002, Cusack was arrested after a bird of paradise flew out of his luggage.
Customs Agents proceeded to find three more rare birds in his suitcase, but the fluorescent flappers weren't the only species of wildlife in the smuggler's company. Cusack was also hiding two pygmy slow lorises in his underwear and fifty rare orchids in his luggage.
3. A Nun's Skeleton
In January 2011, a Cyprian monk and two accomplices were caught trying to board a plane in Athens carrying the skeleton of a deceased nun. When questioned about his rather radical smuggle attempt, the 42 year old monk claimed he was transferring the remains from Greece to a monastery in Cyprus because the nun was a 'saint'.
Cyprus Orthodox Archbishop Chrysostomos II has recently branded the perpetrator a 'charlatan' and said his actions were 'sacrilegious'.
2. A Human Corpse
The British like to think that the world's most preternatural events occur far, far away from the UK. Sadly, they don't, and this strange story beautifully sums up why.
In April 2010, two women were arrested after they tried to take the body of a dead relative on to a plane at Liverpool John Lennon Airport. Staff became suspicious when they tried to check in 91 year old Curt Willi Jarant, who was wearing sunglasses, for a flight to Berlin.
The women, one his widow and one his step daughter, said they thought Jarant was asleep. Both were arrested on suspicious of failing to give notification of death.
1. A Dead Baby Carrying Drugs
The urban legend is one of the most horrific stories you'll find on the internet and although the story may not be true, it highlights the viciousness of the drug world.
The internet rumour tells the story of a a couple and their two year old son planning a weekend trip across the Mexican border for a shopping spree. They had been across the border for around an hour when their son got free and ran around the corner. Although the mother chased after her son, she could not find him and subsequently located a police officer who told her to go to the border gate and wait.
Doing as she was told, she waited 45 minutes until a man approached her carrying her two year old son. She ran to him, grateful that he had been found. However, when the man realised it was the boy's mother, he dropped him to the ground and fled. The police were waiting nearby and arrested the man soon after.
The two year old boy was dead and during the 45 minutes in which he had disappeared, he was cut open and stuffed with cocaine.