Tuesday, 29 January 2013

Cartoon Conspiracies

Cartoons with dark, subliminal messages and meanings?

It's unthinkable. How could the innocuous cartoons that dominated our early years exhibit such material? Many will dismiss the idea, however, a number of theories and conspiracies exist that will make you think twice about your favourite childhood amigos...

The Spongebob Squarepants Drug Theory

Ever wondered why Spongebob is always happy? This theory suggests he is a user of meth amphetamines! His moods swing from extreme happiness; energetically prancing around Bikini Bottom to extreme sadness; crying profusely for hours on end. The theory points out that there is never any middle ground between Spongebob's emotions and these traits match those of a regular meth amphetamine user.

As for Patrick Star, he is the stoner. The starfish is known for being fairly stupid and naive, much like a person under the influence of cannabis. He tends to laugh at stupid things and is always seen eating!

Spongebob's grouchy neighbour, Squidward Tenticles, is said to be on heroin! Squidward is never happy and becomes angered and agitated by Spongebob's energy. Convinced yet?

Maybe Mr.Krabs' description will change your opinion... The theory suggests his arrogance and obsession with money is because he is a cocaine user! Cocaine is an expensive drug and the owner of the Krusty Krab has to manage his finances carefully in order to fund his habit. Additionally, the theory points at the lack of customers in the Krusty Krab. How does Mr.Krab's make his money from only a handful of customers? The truth is, he is also a dealer and uses the Krusty Krab business for a little money on the side and to cover up his drug operation!

The Rugrats Dead Baby Theory

The Rugrats Dead Baby Theory is possibly the most famous and creepy conspiracy relating to childhood cartoons.

The theory suggests the Rugrats were actually a figment of Angelica's demonic imagination. It proposes that Chuckie died in 1997, explaining why Chaz is a nervous wreck all the time.

As for Tommy, he was born in 2000 but was a stillborn. This explains why Stu is always in the basement making toys for the son who never had a chance to live.

The DeVille's had an abortion in 2001, however, Angelica was unable to tell whether it was a boy or a girl, thus creating the twins.

The follow up to Rugrats 'All Grown Up' also entails another disturbing theory. Angelica, now a teenager, became addicted to various narcotics further aggrivating her schizophrenia. This brought her back to childhood and therefore the creations she obsessed over (because of the time lapse between the present and the last time she interacted with her creations) became older.

Angelica became addicted to acid so she would never have to live without her creations who were her only company. Angelica's mother died in 1982 of a heroine overdose very early on in her daughter's life. Drew, Angelica's father, married a golddigging whore due to depression. However, Angelica idolised her step-mother as she fooled herself into believing it was her real Mother. Subsequently, Angelica took a barbie doll and rendered it in her real Mother's image, wearing an unwashed orange dress and having jacked up hair; this explains why Angelica is so attached to the doll.

Later in life, Angelica followed in her Mother's footsteps in terms of drug addictions and died of an overdose aged 15 when 'All Grown Up' was 'cancelled'!

Although this theory seems to be a drug fuelled, extremely ambitious creation, it is widely accepted as the true meaning behind the Rugrats...

The Scooby Doo Post Economic Depression Theory

Perhaps not the best and well thought out theory around, but still another delusional cartoon conspiracy.

It suggests that the original Scooby Doo series is set after a terrible economic depression. Everything is abandoned and falling apart and the numerous villains the 'meddling kids' encounter are people who would usually be respected (professors, museum curators, celebrities). However, they have fallen into hard times themselves and have turned to crime!

The Courage the Cowardly Dog Underworld Theory

In this fairly intelligent theory Courage is proposed as Cerberus, a multi-headed hound which guards the gates of the underworld in Greek mythology.

The theory suggests that Cerberus (Courage) protects his home and makes sure no harm comes to Muriel. His master (Eustace) sits in his chair, hating everything and everyone. Whenever something evil comes to attack Nowhere (his home town), Courage fights back in order to keep Muriel safe and to save his master's home from being destroyed.

So who are Muriel and Eustace and how can Courage be a depiction of Cerberus when he only has one head? Well...

Muriel always sees a new head on Courage whenever something comes to harm her.

Courage will forever stay in Nowhere (Hell) to protect his home and to keep Muriel (Humanity) safe from evil (Le Quack [greed], Fred [murder], Katz [hate], etc.). His master, Eustace (Satan), will rule over and hate all that is Nowhere (Hell).

Farfetched or fact? Either way, you won't look at cartoons the same anymore.

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